I see our struggles as reasonable, healthy responses to unhealthy conditions.

 

Person-centred therapy is based on the understanding that humans are hardwired to move towards what we need in life. However, we can often receive messages from all angles of culture that particular needs or feelings are not/less acceptable. We can then take on these messages and find it difficult to accept these parts of ourselves. As such, we can find ways to adapt ourselves and suppress these needs or feelings, resulting in all sorts of forms of distress (e.g. anxiety, depression, shame, anger, low self-worth, discontentment); to depress something is to push down on something. This is us doing super well to try and take care of ourselves, protect ourselves & survive in these structures the best way we know how. It also means 'dis-ease's and 'dis-order's have wisdoms, they are telling us something important - that something is not at ease, or not in the right order - and it is calling for our attention.

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A therapeutic relationship offers acceptance and appreciation of these needs and feelings; these different conditions can enable more awareness, acceptance and valuing of these in ourselves. When we are more fully able to understand and accept our needs and feelings, we can make choices about how to meet them - enabling us to 'be ourselves' in more fulfilling and less distressing ways. 

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Therapy is a Relationship

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The quality of the relationship between therapist and client that is one of the biggest factors in determining the outcomes of therapy. My way of working involves being really attentive to our relationship. This includes:

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•  all the contextual culture and systems that will be showing up in the room between us

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•  what it’s like for you to be in relationship with me and share what you are sharing (in the moment experiences as well as more generally). This can tell you things about what it’s like (or not) to be in relationship with other people in your life - and this is almost always a big part of the work. Sometimes I will share what it’s like for me to be in relationship with you too – as this can also hold useful information about yourself and how you are in the world

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• finding ways of being together that is most supportive to you to do the work you have come for

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As such, I see that therapy can be a valuable piece of the puzzle in our individual work, and one that is a generosity to the world; the ripple affect to the relationships & communities we are part of is boundless.

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